awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
