It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
