Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
