physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
