and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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