I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
