508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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