3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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