You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
