I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i need some magic done to my vagina
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
