if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
