I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
