For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
