He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
