And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
