omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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