Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
