i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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