yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
