There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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