he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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