he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
