Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
