there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
