You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
