The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Randomize
