He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
