Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
