So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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