sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
