I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
