sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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