I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
