she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
