Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
