3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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