Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
