I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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