That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
