hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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