Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
