Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
