Whod you bang
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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