She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he fucked my hip out of place.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
