Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
