if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
