:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
