my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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