My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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