I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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