he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
