What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
