dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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