They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
